Guys, what I’m about to share is hard to say. No one likes to admit their sins, their struggles, their failures. But I’m about to do it. So here we go.
But first, here’s a little backstory:
As some of you might know, I’m an actress. I’ve been performing since I was seven and have never stopped. That (of course) has always been a blessing, except for one little aspect… Being an actress makes me a great liar.
Now I’m not saying that acting and lying are the same thing– not at all. But I’ve found that speaking in every day life (like telling a lie) can feel like simply saying lines- it feels like they aren’t real. On stage, you can pretend to cry and be upset and everyone believes it, so I’ve found it’s not hard for me to do the same thing off stage as well.
Now, I don’t lie often. When I do, they are small insignificant little lies that don’t need to be told, but for some reason, I’ve told them anyway. This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. Why do I tell little white lies if they don’t matter? I am still working through that with the Lord to this day.
(Here’s a reminder that we all have our sins, so try to still love me while you’re reading this. You’ve made it this far, thank you!)
So now we come to today. Today, I told a little white lie. I told it because I wanted to avoid confrontation and smooth things over. But then, it happened. One lie turned into another, into another. The situation ended in a consequence (nothing horrible or life changing, everything’s cool), but today there was a small change. More than the consequence effected me- reality did.
Two days ago I read Proverbs 6 and the verses 16-19 really stuck out to me…
“There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, an a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
I had prayed yesterday that I would not be/have any of those things, that God would help me be the person he wants me to be…
Today God clearly gave me the opportunity, to tell the truth and to stop lying at any moment, but I didn’t. My pride got in the way, my flesh rose up, and my lying tongue won the battle.
After that situation, I was devastated that I hadn’t used His opportunity.
But after praying for repentance, I know that I’m forgiven, that tomorrow is a new day, and the Lord will provide a new way opportunity for me, as well as for you. ✞
1 John 1:9 –
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”